Monday, October 29, 2007


I happen to dig Haunted Houses, but not all are created equal. The one in the San Diego GasLamp district is pretty darn good, but others just lack the panache required to excite me. Frankly my idea of a good haunted house is one in which you're told to wear disposable clothing. I feel every good haunted house should leave people wishing they had the vinyl car seats.

Last weeked I went to one in XXXXXXXX, XX. [For those who started drinking early, or in the South, XXXXXXXX is not really the name of the city, it's a representation of the name of the city, without actually giving out the name of the city]. The scenario was a haunted hospital, and we had guides in the front and rear of the group. At some point in a dark room I managed to slip away from the group off to the right, and then wound up *behind* the group and guide, left to my own devices.

Oh fuck yeah, they lost me in the haunted house. Poor fuckers.

I had fun poking around a little bit, checking out the *complete lack of sensors or other electronics* (sucky haunted house) then I heard the ubiquoutous chainsaw. YEs, this haunted house complied with Federal haunted house laws requiring a man wearing a scary mask running around with a chainsaw (with no chain on the bar obviously) to clear the final room out and gives folks that one last "did I really pay 10 bucks for this" fleeting thrill.

Now, here's the funny part: I was well behind the main group. The rear guard had completely lost me and didn't realize it, so when I heard the chainsaw I walked forward and ended up BEHIND the escort and said Mad Man With A ChainSaw, both of whom were watching the remainder of my group flee forward.

You know what I did.

I had to.

I'd be less of a man if I didn't.

Yeah, I waited a few seconds then walked up softly behind them and yelled BOO! and got them both. Not that I was all that great (cause I'm N074Gh0s7), but the haunted house was that bad.

And there you have it. I have now blogged recently. Stay tuned for more updates as more stupid shit occurs in my life.



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